Everyone who has ever presented T4 is an utter twat - Steve Jones Special!

Serial womaniser and walking STI Steve Jones seems to have but one claim to fame, and that is that he had sex with Pemela Anderson one time. Well congratufuckinglations Steve. You can now join the highly exclusive chapter of some 500,000 people who have had the misfortune to lie with the cadaverous, pneumatic-breasted old skank. They should start up a club for people who have nailed Pammy, and have patches like the Hell's Angels, as my hugely impressive rendition demonstrates below.

About the design: The center of the piece is a beautifully-rendered penis, pointing south. This is like an inverted crucifix, insomuch as any association of a penis with Pamela Anderson is evil. The penis is lovingly adorned with 3 condoms; 3 being the bare minimum required to remain disease-free when having a steamy encounter with the former Baywatch beauty. Either side of the shaft are Pamela's lovely breasts, which have been accurately recreated with off-center nipples and surgery scars. Behind the central motif is Pamela's lovely mane of white hair. This is all set on a Baywatch red background. You can order this badge for just £45.99

Steve Jones comes from Wales and is related to the other Joneses who are famous. It's hard to think that from his modest beginnings living under some leaves on a bed of mud in a mountain in Wales Steve now has a flat in London and hosts one of the best programmes on the television that no-one ever watches! Steve's family tree can be seen below where you can see how all of the famous Joneses relate to each other.

Steve Jones gets his suave sophistication from His Grandfather Tom Jones. He briefly married his sister, Catherine Zeta the Jones, and they sired a whole cricket team together. Then Catherine went to America to assist the elderly. Grampa Tom was a legendary swordsman, as was his Great Grampa, Indiana Jones senior (Also known as Sean O'Connory). Steve Jones has slept with every woman in the British Isles, at least once. His appendage is over 2 feet long when fully unravelled and he has been known to impregnate women by just looking at them. You go, Steve!

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