New Years Resolutions for 2011

Hate more people for even pettier reasons

Kill myself

Hunt down and kill everyone who I have said I hate during 2010

Stop making silly internet death threats that might be misconstrued by any agencies with too much time on their hands

Destroy Sony

Burn my eyes out with a rusty poker so that I never have to watch Jools Holland smugly look back over his shoulder as he plays a terrible jazz fusion number with his sycophantic cronies EVER AGAIN

Vow to stop giving any money to TFL on a regular basis, they are all wankers

Fix my car so it can propel itself with an engine instead of my legs

Spend less time with humans and more time with animals

Do some gay stuff

Build an exoskeleton with loads of missiles and that on it, and then attack Primark

Eat more soup

Learn to write joined up

Fart more

Play more XBox 360

No comments:

Post a Comment