stupid cliched phrases people use that make me want to gouge their eyes out with a turd-encrusted spoon part deux

"A problem shared is a problem halved"

No it isn't, it's a problem doubled. I don't care about your stupid inconsequential bullshit so please feel free to not tell me anything at all. This is my disinterested face :o|

"What goes around, comes around"

This is what people say when they forget about the word 'Karma'. And, for the record, it doesn't. It suggests that we're all sitting on a glittering karmic conveyor belt, where our good and bad deeds are rewarded appropriately. But the truth is that when you act like a complete git some other poor sap invariably gets your punishment. This can be in the form of parking tickets, theft or just plain bad luck. Not a day goes by when a benefit cheat is caught and has to pay back but a fraction of what they have robbed. Those rioters are sitting pretty on 10-foot high piles of flatscreen TVs and enjoying their ill-deserved benefits while other people cannot afford to pay the rent. Crime DOES pay, and very handsomely indeed.

"Pride comes before a fall"

Why? What a pessimistic saying. And if even I recognise it as pessimistic, it is. This probably stems from some joyless religion or another, where the very notion of actually enjoying your fleeting existence is frowned upon. This is just one of the many reasons why religion is the worst thing to ever happen to the human race.
 
"Love thy neighbour"

Neighbours are twats. They have the audacity to live next door to you and cook smelly food and if you listen carefully, you can hear them having a dump. I find a pint glass projects the sound the best through walls. Plus, they have security on their router so what's the point in them even being there. I wish DEATH on my neighbours (provided it's not by fire, otherwise they would take me (and, more importantly, my Transformers) with them.

"You can't have your cake and eat it"

Yes I can. I can purchase (or indeed make) a cake and then I can eat it. Otherwise, what would be the purpose of  having a cake. To entice obese people into a trap of some sort or trapdoor whereby they fall straight into a mincing machine? Don't be absurd.

"What goes up, must come down"

This rule obviously does not apply to petrol prices and national debt.

3 comments:

  1. Hang in there?
    Keep your chin up!

    Big Les.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you taken the happy pill again alex!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dont let them take the Transformers man!

    ReplyDelete