This is it - get your shotguns ready.

Although I am usually glad to live in a tolerant and largely democratic society, it is times like this that make me want to welcome Chairman Mao into the UK with open arms. Compare and contrast the dignified protest at Tiananmen square with the greed-fed free-for-all that is currently engulfing large parts of London. I'm sure a squadron of tanks would improve things no end, giant treads popping the brainless heads of the various wastes pf sperm who really are that stupid. I like to call a spade a spade, and therefore when a bunch of mindless thugs decide to descend on already recession-hit high streets and basically smash them up and steal or burn everything in sight I like to refer to them as a bunch of mindless and thieving cunts, as opposed to 'protesters'.

The riots may be the single most exciting thing to ever happen to Croydon, but even that open sewer of a place deserves better to be smashed up in the manner places are being at the moment. I'm sure that as the little shits run out of booze and KFC they will slowly lose energy and will then disappear back into their little rat-infested hovels, not to be heard from again until the next political issue demands their 'attention'. The lie that this entire situation is in any way connected to a death which seems to be fairly routine is particularly galling as a load of thugs are using it as an excuse to basically rob and destroy stuff. As usual, the government are too weak to do anything remotely useful, helmed as they are at the moment by the incompetent public schoolboys brigade. Because of this, I have decided to present my 3-point plan to any politicians who may be reading, because you silly fuckers need to do something.

1) Guns

Yes, GUNS. Guns that shoot massive bullets that splinter into smaller bullets that explode on contact with pock-marked and unwashed flesh. Guns are awesome. Guns would disperse any cunts with a modicum of intelligence, the rest would just stare on blankly as their bodies were departed from their wretched souls at no great loss to humanity.

2) Helicopters

Just because. I love helicopters. Ones with guns and missiles and that on them that look like Airwolf. It would be great to see attack helicopters strafing in and out of piss-soaked alleys, distributing death to the dribbling morons clutching their flatscreen TVs and iPads. Sky Box Office could charge £15 a pop.

3) Transformers

Megatron would fuck all their shit up. And not the terrible Michael Bay Megatron, the original Megatron that looked like a Nazi stormtrooper and turned into a big fucking gun. So basically, my message is to kill all of the little cunts until they get the message and get the fuck in line. It's not like any of them will have any employment prospects so let's kill 2 birds with one stone and save some much-needed cash as well.

1 comment:

  1. Bitter Young English Man for Prime Minister.... You've got my vote.