I should put this on Trip Advisor

Brighton is a theatre of ruined and forgotten dreams. Full of monstrous buildings erected in the '60's and older buildings which are literally falling down, Brighton is one those places that could be cheaply used if 1984 was ever remade. It's vast, depressing soviet-era sink estates puncture the dull grey skyline full of clouds which mirror the monotone heartbeat of the city. The beach is full of pebbles, each greyer than the other, as if God got bored when creating the seafront and just took a massive dump there instead. Two piers extend from its overcrowded shoreline like jagged daggers in a child's face. One pier is burnt down, and on the point of collapse, while the other should be burnt down, if only to slightly improve the depressing vista of Brighton seafront, frequented as it is by thieving pikeys who pray on the middle-class idiots foolish enough to believe the area to be anything other than an open sewer.

Dishonest, jobless idiots are everywhere - dishonest because instead of keeping to themselves in their bedsits wanking and playing XBox they spend their days being eco-warriors or protesters, spilling out onto the streets with their humourous placards to harass organisations and companies which they perceive to be indicative of the decadent ruination of the west without ever realising that they themselves are the decadent ruination of the west. Moaning about everything for no good reason while lapping up the handouts from the state, these ravenous parasites are a drain on everyone's resources other than their own. Clad in Doc Martens and covered in a thick veneer of dirt, rancid flesh and hair unwashed for months, their faces are constantly set to 'sneer' mode as they regale against anything that doesn't conform to their own selfish expectations.

They want every shop to be an independent co-op, where they can barter and trade for goods with carrots and empty cans of Strongbow. They hate the motor car but are secretly resentful that they can't afford one of their own. They despise whichever government happens to be ruling at any given time but quite happily reap the benefits of their hated, autocratic fascist leaders every 2 weeks when they pick up their dole money. They want everything to be organic and chemical-free but still spend the lion's share of their dole on Booze, drugs and cigarettes. They are lazy and feckless yet pretend that they exist on the periphery of society ostensibly because they are not sheep when the ugly little secret they all contain within is that they know they are too lazy or stupid to be employable. Brighton is awash with these people, strangulated by their odious presence which only pulls the city further down into the doldrums from which it will never rise.

Brighton was probably an OK place to live until the 1960's, when the most selfish generation ever seeded it with listless, illiterate drug addicts and ponces, abandoning morals and any semblance of decency or responsibility along the way. Now, it is stuffed to the brim with feral human scum who pretend to be politically-minded in order to mitigate against their own personal laziness. Like a senile braying donkey, defecating onto it's own leg and a mere shotgun blast away from sweet oblivion, Brighton teeters on the brink; subsidised by all the Londoners who for whatever reason continue to migrate there. None of them realise that it is too late for Brighton - the only thing that can improve it now is to erect a massive grey wall around its perimeter and let the stupid morons fend for their own stupid selves.


  1. I don't know what your on about, Brighton is a brilliant city. So I suggest you shut mother f*****g mouth.

  2. Too right, it's an over-rated shithole for degenerates, eco-warriors, gyppos and hipsters. I apologise, for I'm an ex-resident and I feel dirty for it.

    Mind you, the rest of the world is also a cunt.

  3. I've lived in Brighton for fifteen years and I have never experienced any of these outrageously ambitious generalizations. There are drug addicts and people who claim benefits (not that there is any shame in this as you imply), there are working class people, there are middle and upper-middle class people - but I'm not aware of any city in which is not the case, and if there was I'm confident it would be pretty shite to be there.

  4. I was born in brighton and had the great idea to move out, it was the best thing i ever done. I agree with everything you say about the place, do you know any good builders so we can start on the wall?

  5. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2074621/Mums-stage-breastfeeding-flash-mob-defend-right-feed-babies-public.html