Driving through the snow, numpties in my way...

A very small amount of snow has dusted the Greater London area overnight, which is great. Snow is awesome. It can beautify even the worst architectural nightmares conceived in the '60's. Everything looks really bright, and an eerie quiet descends as all the birds are seemingly overwhelmed by the beauty surrounding them and shut the hell up. Feet make satisfying noises as they trudge through freshly-laid snow. It's fun to run out onto virgin snow in bare feet, it feels nice and the footprints look loads better than boring old shoe ones.

The only downside of the snow is what it does to our transport infrastructure, which tends to fall to pieces as soon as the first flake makes contact with terra firma. But I can report that all of the major roads I drove down this morning were completely free of snow, or even slush, as they are used so heavily, that the snow does not get the chance to settle, or is quickly dispatched by the sheer frequency of traffic. Despite the roads being clear as a whistle, I was stuck behind very slow people several times. You see, some drivers panic when there is snow, and their feeble little minds completely shut down.

Unable to process this alien white powder surrounding them, some drivers stare at it in awe while coasting down the road at speeds that a Sinclair C5 could better, serendipitously drifting through red lights and into cyclists without a care in the world. My frustration was made worse when I arrived at Richmond Park, only to find that the de facto speed limit adopted that morning was 5 miles per hour. All I could see in the distance was a huge metal convoy, slowly umbering it's way around the park like a lethargic snake.

I was busy being a moany old cunt when I suddenly had an epiphany... all around me was brilliant, white, unspoiled snow. It was amazing. One of the most breathtaking sights I have seen, with the rays of the rising sun penetrating through the snow-capped trees. For the next 5 minutes, I actually enjoyed my commute as I revelled in nature's splendour. I saw a big bunch of deer (not sure what the correct parlance is) loitering together, looking all majestic and stag-like. Stags are brill. 

Then, unfortunately, I reached the end of the park and had to continue on my way, and the spell was broken. Once again, I was surrounded by exhaust fumes and drudgery; the roads full of people who just do not want to get to work, and who can blame them. The daily commute is almost uniformly depressing, no matter the choice of transport. Everyone wants to be at home in their pants instead of struggling to make their way to the office they hate, to do a job they hate. That said, I will treasure those minutes of unexpected happiness that I got this morning, as my quota for nice things is now full until May at least, so normal service will be resumed next week. Sorry about that.


  1. Still before BigLes. Life has purpose again.

  2. Awesome...
    i love snow! Fancy meeting up in richmond park for a snow fight later? wish i could, i am currently on holiday in North Africa but from the webcam i set up, i can see the snow very nicely...
    Two points!
    firstly - well done for conquering your fear of stags and accepting them a friend.
    secondly - i have two words - FRONT WHEEL DRIVE! Simples... These big shot barry's drive around in their BMWs or Mersaydees! Pathetic, no grip! nothing quite like a front wheel drive french car in my opinion.

    enjoy the drive back and great blog...
    i pray for it to snow again, perhaps we could build a snow man together ?

    Big Les

  3. Hi 'Big' Les (is that even true? I just don't know anymore.) I would have gladly accepted your invitation had you the decency to post first comment on my last few posts. Your lax attitude has made me question our relationship. I hope you're not offended, but I think I might make a go of it with Anonymous. He is a far more prolific poster than you anyway. Remember, I'm here to be won back, if you want me.

    Kind Regards...

  4. I'm more prolific, obviously quicker off the mark than AfricaLes, I found this place through UKR, *AND* I have already built a snowman. Unlike AfricaLes.

    Make him work for it Hrrumph. He has to make amends.

    From the original anonymous. Not to be confused with all the other anonymous.

  5. Hey, Anonymous...
    a blogstalk is for life, not just for a few posts...

    lets see what the future brings...
    ps - its not the speed, but the input that is craved from Hrrumph!

    Big les... and yes - i graduated from limp les to Big les post college!